ups and downs

I've been in a bit of a rut. Nothing too terrible, just enough to bring me down a notch.

A few weeks ago I got an interview for a job at a grocery store, walked in and pretty much got the job. Then they call me back a week later and said my schedule wouldn't work out for them, but to call back when I finished my internship in October, at which point they might be able to use me. SIGH.

Then I got into a car accident. Worst part, it was totally my fault. At least nobody was hurt, but I'm still dealing with the paperwork and crap. Icky.

Haven't felt very motivated to do anything since then. Even so, I'm not completely dead. It feels like my brain shut down and now it's rebooting, cause lately I've been more inspired to draw. Or doodle, rather, whatever. Part of the trouble is that I've been overly introverted and that makes me less productive. Time to to get out and hang with/bother some people.

I'm definitely an introvert, but even we introverts need people to function properly.

peace

For an update on my latest job success you can see my update in Posse of Six.

(Mostly cuz I don't feel like rewriting it, lazy.) :P

I have a prayer for myself, as well as anyone else who's feeling down in these hard times:

God, give me strength to wake up tomorrow morning and not be such a grouch because I have a lot to do and don't always like getting up. Remind me how much I love the light on the trees, how much I love the feeling of a warm car on a cold morning, and how much I really enjoy wearing the make up that takes me so long to put on.

Remind me as I go to work not to go out to breakfast or lunch, as that money can be saved and put towards more important things, like bills or necessities. Or towards saving for the future or charities I may be blessed enough to serve. Remind me to wake up a little earlier and pack my lunch, cook my breakfast, and be grateful for what I have.

Teach me not to worry about the future, for that is your domain. Remind me to trust in you, not just for the tough decisions like whether or not I stick with the job I've got or go for something better, but the everyday decisions too, like what I should do on my days off. Remind me not to be too selfish, but not to destroy myself with work, either. After all, I need reminding that there is a day for rest.

When I want to be alone remind me what a blessing people can be, when I am alone remind me about your voice in the gentle wind. Remind me how wrong I am and how gracious you are. Remind me to be understanding and kind, not judgmental and sadistic. Remind me to be equal parts loving and logical, because you are both good and disciplined. Grant me patience and grace in my every endeavor.

Remind me not to go to sleep too late, because I have things to do tomorrow. Remind me to not be resentful of my burdens, because they will build character. Let my thoughts be pure and most importantly, remind me to think of you always and above all, because I am weak and prone to forget. Amen.

Gosh, I'm always asking for things! I'm so forgetful, too. :)

this is my island in the sun...

So originally I was going to call this 'creative in the key of raspberry', since I adore raspberry flavored things. However, it didn't have the same ring to it as 'cranberry' and I do like cranberry juice (with sprite). Don't get me started on pomegranate. Weird, almost bitter tasting fruits are yum-yum-yummy.

But I digress, the weather has been rather fabulous lately. Even when it's cool it's warm, and it's staying that way. Such a nice change from this winter, where it kept going back and forth between cold and warm. Twas darn aggravating and I almost got sick a couple of times. However, things seemed to have worked themselves out.

I'm hoping things 'working themselves out' will be a theme this summer, as I have not yet landed a secure job. What I have managed to accomplish is make it through my final semester of college (almost), my portfolio show, and my personal issues related to guilt and finance, though I'm sure more of such dramatic episodes are to come. On a high note, I have one interview for a gallery internship and a temp job to look forward to.

Presently I'm getting final projects squared away and trying not to scream at my computer. I've done enough of that today already, as I take issue with badly made web design programs. Such as the ones godaddy provides for their clients. Thankfully, I'm a clever bunny and managed to figure things out pretty quickly. Ariel probably could have figured it out much faster then me, because honestly, she's a web genius. I don't know why she doesn't just get into doing websites for a living.

Still, the design program was pretty annoying. Sometimes it would work, sometimes it wouldn't. I was tempted to scrap the thing and do it 100% HTML, but one of the layouts in the program was practically identical to my original website concept. It would have taken me extra hours to figure out the right codes.

Right now I just feel bad for my roommate, who had to put up with my little storm cloud of hate. I don't get angry often, either, so it was probably a bit of a shock for her.